The unique art of losing
I spotted a high score notification on a friend’s Facebook feed today.
It said: “I got 53235 points while escaping from a Giant Demon Monkey in Temple Run 2. Beat that!”
I love temple run, I play it in the bathroom when the business that got me there takes too long.
I tried to compliment that guy on his score by leaving him a comment saying that “I had never heard of the Giant Demon in temple run” and that “I should try harder next time I play”.
What an awkward way of being nice. People often freak out when I try to be friendly, anyway.
Why didn’t I just say: “Kudos!” or “Wow!”
Of course, he took it the wrong way and started arguing that it wasn’t a “Giant Demon” but a monkey.
Like it mattered whether he won over a Demon or an Iguana or a hip of Radioactive crab manure…?
I had tried to be sweet and I failed and HE WAS WRONG ANYWAY! That WAS a Giant Demon Monkey. It said it on his timeline!
I was pissed, actually.
And I’m 40. And after 20 years practicing meditation, that’s what I do, I fight over crap like that.
All I had to do was to say: “Oh, OK, that’s right, congrats for your score BTW!”.
That would have been the end of it.
My point is in most arguments there’s nothing else to do but losing.
Officially announcing that you were wrong and that you’re sorry. That’s a serious step toward kindness to yourself and others.
Now, If you really , REALLY want to win the fight, that’s still doable, but you’ll have to join 7 billions of losers lining up, all aggressively trying to prove their point.
You’re free to do what everybody else does (with mediocre success), or leave the queue and simply apologize. Abandon the global pissing contest and save energy for the battles that matter.
That’s what Tibetan masters tried to teach me: give victory to others, take the blame and grow a stronger mind in the process.
There is no winning the fight for being right, anyway.
Ultimately, we’re only sure of one thing: we’re all gonna die.
The only question is: who do you want to be when you finally kick the bucket?
How would you like to be remembered?
As a 40 year old troll?
All it takes is to take the defeat, and then let go.
War is over the moment you end it.
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No good deed goes unpunished my friend. I am right there with you on this one. I 40+ and amazed at the bullshit I find myself arguing over. The whole practice of fighting is overrated and a big waste of my life. (I figured out I have been alive for 17001 day. Whatever else that trivia means I don’t want ot waste any more of my days fighting.
Sam! Good seeing you here :)
fighting over bullshit is a waste of time, looks like you’ll be done with it by your 17002nd day (tomorrow). I hope I manage to keep mine in control as well…
Sorry for the typos I was distracted!
Sounds like the guy in question had a bit of a demon monkey on his back. Or maybe I read you wrong. And I should have commented on your blog a while back as per the Big Ol’ Comment thread. I’m glad to say- win or lose, i enjoy your voice!
Hey Brenda, thanks for your comment, I’m really not sure what was in the guy’s mind, but mine was sure clogged with bullshit that day…Looking forward to your posts :)
I’m a 20 year old and my roommate is a troll also plays Temple Run. Last night we got in an argument because he said out of the blue: “meditation isn’t real, people just pretend to do it to look cool.”
Thank you for writing this it made me realize how useless arguing with him is. : )
Hey Jordan, great to hear this helped you face your roommate’s trolleries. I’m proud of you :)
It’s quite scary how many people behave. Especially the younger generations. I’m truly concerned regarding humanity’s future if everybody keep acting like a complete asshole.
Luckily there are many, many good people living in this world. It’s good to know they outnumber the other half.
Thanks for your comment :)
The good news is: it’s easy to make a difference in that kind of global mess (being a hero is easier than it used to)
Fantastic website, I am truly touched, Thank you so much!!! Thank you universe! Thank you!!!
Much Love,
Ilze
Hi Ilze, thank you so much for your sweet comment :)